Lori Ran off with Vince...and Garbage....

My friend, Lori, was bisexual. I did not know this when I first met her. I had no clue. As a matter of fact, after I had known her for awhile, she had developed an affair with the fourteen year old son of the people who owned the Pink Pussy Cat strip club where we stripped in Kansas City, Missouri. She was nineteen.

My kids and I were in Syracuse, New York. I heard a knock at my door. I answered it and saw Lori and Vince, the fourteen year old. He had run off with her.

We had a lot of fun with him. We teased him a lot and told him stories he really believed. One funny story was about eating garbage.

We told him that my kids and I had to pick through the garbage to get enough to eat. Of course, my kids caught on right away and chimed right in. He believed us.

To really convince him, we told him one night that we were going to go to the different alleys to look for food. He was shocked!

We loaded him and my kids in the car and cruised some alleys. We locted some garbage cans. Lori, the kids, and I got out all excitedly talking about how we bet there was some good food in those bags. We loaded the trunk up with the bags. Vince was speechless. It was so funny to see him so shocked. We never did tell him the difference.

Vince was only in Syracuse for a couple of weeks when I got a call from Kansas City, his parents. They asked if Vince was there. I said, "Yes". He was sitting right next to me. They hold him a ticket for him was waiting at the airport; and he better be on the next plane coming to Kansas City.

His family was the type of Italian family that Lori and I had enough sense to know not to mess with. We took him straight to the airport - no questions asked.

She missed him; but I think I missed him more than she did. He was a handy babysitter.


The X-RATED GRANDMA: Dirty Stories from the Kitchen: