Me Saying I Would Never Take All of My Clothes Off...

I have learned through life to not say, "I would never do that!!" It seems that everytime I have said that I end up doing the very thing that I really and truly felt in my heart that I would not do. One such incident occurred before I had become a stripper.

I was working at a go-go joint in Independence, Missouri - The Mountaineer Club. My job was to wait on customers - be a cocktail waaitress - and take my turn go-go dancing. There were about three of us girls doing this. I did not mind the go-go dancing because I just got up on the stage with a little tank top and some short shorts and danced. None of us took anything off.

One day a good-looking girl came in the club. She knew the owner. She was talking to him and some of the customers - really seeming to have a good time. Suddenly, she jumped upon the stage and started dancing. She danced in a sexy, erotic way that I had never seen before and never knew possible.

I asked one of the go-go dancers who she was. She told me that she was a stripper who traveled with another girl on the road. I said, "You mean they take their clothes off?" She said, "Yes! Everythng!" I replied, "Well, I might be a go-go dancer; but I know for sure that that's one thing I would never do - take my clothes off in front of a bunch of men!"

I wish I had a penny for every eyeball that has seen my naked body. I look back and laugh at my innocence and narrow-mindedness.

Opal, the X-RATED GRANDMA on Funny or Die:

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