I have always prided myself with the fact that I raised my two kids on my own with no help from anyone. There were many difficult times due to lack of money. There were many happy times. The happy times far outnumbered the difficult times. The whole time my kids were little and needed me was happy - even though we were not as well-off as most.
I always placed their needs and desires above anything and anybody. I know this made them happy; but it, also, made me happy.
Some people told me to give my children to a "regular" family - a mom and dad situation - and quit dragging them all over the country. But I loved them and still do more than life itself. I could not bare to think about them being with someone else.
Many tell me this was selfish and maybe it was. But I am able to look in the mirror today and know that I did the best I knew how and did not give them up.
If I would have given them up, maybe they would have been happier. But I would not go back and change it. I would keep my kids. Maybe I really am a selfish person drowning my selfishness with love. Mybe I was reallly placing my great desire before my children which was to have them with me. Maybe all the good things I did for them was really for me.
