Being a Part of Spectator Violence

One time when I was working the Wood-Six Burlesk Theater in Detroit, Michigan as a stripper, I experienced an incident that brought out a dark side of me that I did not know I had. My kids and I were walking on the street between the theater and the motel. The traffic was stopped at a stop light. The people from two different vehicles were hollering obscenities at each other. One man got out of his vehicle and pointed a gun at the other guy. Needless to say, the other man shut up and sped away.

What distrubed me then and does even now is the fact that all the people on the sidewalk were watching as spectators. No one, as far as I know, even moved to call the police. And I was one of them.

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Ashamed of the 'Nut' I Married

I have never been ashamed of the fact that I was a stripper for approximately twenty years. This job enabled my children and me opportunities we would never have ever heard about if I had nver become one.

I have done some things and acted certain ways that most "ordinary" people thnk I should be ashamed of; but I am not. The only thing that I can truly say that I am ashamed of is for my children to know who their real father is. I wish I had cheated on him; so there would be a doubt in my mind that he might not be their real father. It is really embarrassing for me to know that my children know I went to bed with such a low-classed deadbeat.

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Barney's Funeral

When my boss, Barney Eagon, at the Blue top cafe in Lamar, Missouri died, I was fortunate enough to be in town which enabled me to attend his funeral. Most of the people who attended were his former employees plus his wife and two kids. There were not even twenty five people there.

I think people did not attend his funeral because they were jealous. These type of people hat to see the "little guy" get ahead. If they had thought it would have benefited them someway to attend, they would have knocked the doors down to get in. Such jealously is evil; and sick. They brown nosed him while he was alive but snubbed his memory in death.

This made me really sad. Barney was a life-long resident. He was a hard worker and became rich on his own. I respected him very much and still do.

I have worked many jobs since the Blue Top Cafe. On each job, there are always people who complain and talk bad about the boss. I can honestly say that I never once heard anyone say one crossword about Barney Eagon.

As far as I know, everyone respected him for the good boss that he was. We were all happy to have a job. He was strict, and things had to be his way or not at all. But through it all, he was highly respected by his employees. The evidence was shown at his funeral.

Me Not Knowing Which Way...

I was raised in the small town of Lamar, Missouri. Everyone in this little town thought the whole world revolved around Lamar, Missouri. They were, and most still are, small town provincial thinking people. I was programmed to, also, be this way.

I worked at the Blue Top Cafe as a waitress. I was in high school. A customer asked me, "Which direction is Pittsburgh, Kansas?" Well, what a big question to ask! I sure did not know! If it did not concern Lamar, who cared?

I asked my boss, Barney Eagon. He told me it was west of Lamar. I asked him which way was west. He pointed in the west direction; so I was able to tell the customer.

Barney told me something that I did not understand until years later. He told me taht a person should know what is going on around him and where things are around him. This way of thinking, at the atime, was way over my head.

Since that day, I have learned that lesson arney tried to teach me. I learned my directions; and I am aware of what is happening around me and where different cities and states are located. I have been to many of them. Oh, and by the way, Pitsburgh, Kansas is only twenty miles away from Lamar, Missouri.

People Only Want What They Can Get Out of You

People want what they can get out of you. When you are no longer any use to them, they discard you. My dad told me many times, "When you are up and going, everyone is your friend; but when you're down and out no one wants anything to do with you".

This is so true. I have seen it happen many times during my lifetime.

What a person needs to do is be themselves. Do what YOU ant to do; and od not do what others expect of you. YOU have to live with yourself - good or bad. YOU have to face yourself in the mirror each day. No one can do that but - YOU!

Fasting and the Dancing Telling Me it was a Beautiful Thing...

It really makes me sad to know that so many "regular", "normal" people do not possess some of the good, aesthic feelings and attitudes that a lot of the strippers who I worked with had. Most of these girls had crossed over the brink of normality and were living in a mental world of spirituality above what the basic normal, everyday person cannot understand and will never attain. I attained this level of thought and have kept it all through my life.

I was in the early stages of learning how to fast. I was at the little cafe, The Golden Pheasant in Canton, Ohio - next to the burlesk theater, The State Theater. I was drinking only liquids that day. Even though I was used to it because I did it quite frequently, at least, one day a week, it was still difficult to do, especially, with everyone around me eating. But I had reached the level of thought and consciousness that permitted me to surpass my hunger pains and led me to a higher level.

Not many people understand this way yof life. It made me feel really good when one of the strippers sitting across from me said, "Wild Star, what you are doing is a beautiful thing." At that point, I knew the people I was associating with were real and good. I knew that I would never know people like this back home. Nobody back there would ever be able to comprehend in the slightest what she was talking about. I do not remember her name or even what she looked like. But that one sentence has stuck in my mind for the rest of my life, especially, when I fast; and I know that it is right.

My Opinion of Child Molesters

This is my opinion of people who sexually molest children. They are not human. They are not animals. They are nothing.

It sickens me to the core to hear someone say, "That child molester is an animal". This degrades animals. Animals are not capable of being so cruel and mean.

Our laws of society are made for humans. A person who sexually molests children is sending a message to society which says, "I am not human because I did this; therefore the laws of society do not apply to me. I am not privileged enough fo them to apply to me beause I am not human. This sort is not human or an animal. This sort is nothing and should be considered as such.

I wish I had the job of punishing child molesters. These would be the ones where there was no doubt at all what happened.

I would have a special program on television where people could tune in to see anytime they wanted. The "nothing" would be tied up someway - naked. The "nothing" would no tbe allowed food or drink. Anyone who wanted could torture the "nothing" in anyway they saw fit. The "nothing" would be tied up until death took over.

This would be too good for the "nothings" of the world. And I am sorry that it will never happen.