During my old dancing days in Kansas City in the 1970's
When I first started driving in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, I found that they had more traffic laws than what I had been used to experiencing in the small town of Lamar, Missouri. One such law involved parking.
One day during the five-o'clock rush hour, I was driving in downtown Kansas City looking for a parking spot. I had driven around for quite sometime when I saw one. I really felt lucky and wondered why nobody else had parked in it. I parked my car and went to wherever I was supposed to be going.
When I came out to my car, much to my surprise, my car was gone. I thought, "Oh! No! Someone stole my car!" I called the police. They came over. They asked me where my car was parked. I showed them. Then they showed me! They pointed to a sign - a No Parking - Tow Away sign.
Another incident relating to the big city's driving laws which I learned the hard way concerned one-way streets. I had never heard of one-way streets before in my whole life. I soon found out that they existed. I am just glad I lived through the experience.
One day in Kansas City, I was driving down the street. Suddenly, I saw a lot of cars coming toward me on my side of the street. I was frantic! They kept coming - one after the other. They were honking their horns at me and hollering obscenities. I thought, "These people are nuts! Why are they driving on the wrong side of the road? And why are they mad at me? They are the ones doing the wrong thing!
Soon, I learned that it was me who was doing the wrong thing when a compassionate driver, instead of showing his middle finger, used his index finger to point to a sign that said ONE WAY!
Medians in the middle of the road were another thing that I had never encountered in Lamar, Missouri and had never heard about. The policeman who stopped me for this violation was more dumbfounded from my improper driving act than I was from the new law I was about to encounter - new to me, anyway.
I was driving on Paseo Street in Kansas City, Missouri. There was a lot of traffic. I needed to get to the other side because I needed to go in the other direction. There was only one problem - a big piece of cement in the middle of the road which separated my raod from the one I wanted to take. I really did think it was stupid to have a big piece of cement in such a location; but I really saw no big problem from it. I just drove my car over the cement and got on the other side.
I was driving along when a policeman stopped me. He asked me why I went over the median like that. I did not know what he was talking about. He said, shaking his head, "That's the first time I ever saw anything like that - someone just driving over the median to the other side of the road". Finally, I realized what he was talking about. I replied sarcastically, "Oh! You mean that big piece of cement in the middle of the road? I drove over it because I had to get to the other side". He told me I could not do that and asked if I as drinking. I told him that I as not drinking and that I act like this all the time. He told me that he would not give me a ticket but for me to never do that again. I was confused and asked him how I could get to the other side of the road without driving over the cement. He explained to me how to go to the light and turn around. I asked him, "You mean I have to go all the way up to the light and turn back this way?" He said, "Yes". I was still baffled by this rule when I asked him why they put big cement blocks in the middle of the road anyway. He just shook his head and walked away, but said as he was leaving, "I'm not going to give you a ticket. You have enough problems the way it is!:
100 STORIES FROM AN OLD STRIPPER
By Opal Dockery
Now on AMAZON & LULU:
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