It was difficult to be a stripper on the road; but
through it all, the good times outweighed the bad. This job enabled
my children and myself to travel and see things that would have been
impossible if I had worked a regular job. It was like being on a
vacation all the time and getting paid for it. Whenever I think back,
I know that becoming a stripper was the wisest decision I ever made
in my life.
The following best describes my deepest feelings and is
from my story in this book,VISION OF BECOMING
A STRIPPER: But
there was an unsettling deep inside me. The unsettling that has been
with me all my life. The unsettling that I have had ever since I have
had any sense of consciousness. The unsettling that will not let me
stop and be satisfied with a certain situation or certain type of
life for any length of time. The unsettling that knaws at my insides
to do something else. The unsettling that will not let me settle down - my spirit.
I think it is imperative that each of us find our own
true self - our own true spirit. All of us do not reach this level on
the same road. We all take different roads at times. Who is to say
that one road is better or worse than the other? The road that is
right for one person may be wrong for another. The end result is what
counts. A person might cook rice differently from someone else. As
long as it is edible the way he or she likes it; and it serves as a
good nutrition value, who cares how it was prepared?
The road
I took to find my true spirit and to come face to face with it was
quite an unusual road. When I became a stripper, this is the road I
traveled that led me to enlightenment. I discovered my spirit. I
introduced myself to my spirit. I came face to face with my spirit. I
reached a level so high that I would not have been able to cope with
the beautiful feeling if it had been any higher.
My spirit has
been with me forever. It just took this – what most common ordinary
people would call irrational act – to permit me to meet my spirit
and to always know that my spirit is continually with me and will
always guide me.
My spirit guided me through all the hard times of
raising my children. Without the knowledge of my spirit, I do not see
how I could have managed this. At that time, I did not know how to
take care of myself – let alone two little kids and to raise them
to adulthood.
My spirit continually is with me as I make all decisions
in my life. I have so much thanks to the road I took as being a
stripper and an outcast of society. This decision was the best one I
ever made in my life. I truly did find my spirit in them most
unconventional way.
To this day, I really do not know why I did this. I
could have been killed. I guess it was just out of stupid curiosity.
I do not know. At the time, I think I felt that I was trying to
educate myself by understanding different people and different
personalities - what made them tick. Maybe this was the reason I did
what I am about to tell you about. I do not know. I could back-up my
stupidity for this particular incident by saying it was for the
purpose of understanding personalities based on the fact that I
earned my bachelor of science in psychology years later. And I must
admit that the first hand experience I received provided more
information than anything I could have ever obtained from a
textbook.
There was this young, good looking black man that
hung around the Two O'Clock Club where I danced as a stripper in
Boston, Massachusetts. He never bought any drinks and would say,
"No." when hustled to buy some. He seemed to be friends
with one of the waitresses. I found out later from other dancers that
he was a pimp.
I had never talked to a pimp before as far as I
knew. I told myself that I should talk to him and try to understand
this type of personality. The approach I decided to use was not too
appropriate as far as my personal safety was concerned.
I could not go to him and say, "Heh! I hear you're
a pimp. Could I interview you and study your personality?" So I
decided on the dangerous approach. I acted like I wanted to work for
him.
As far as I can remember, I just went up and told him I
wanted to make more money, and I wasn't sure how to do it. I needed
someone to show me how. I played the dumb stripper act to the hilt.
It worked too good.
Immediately he lit into me. "Listen, Bitch,
give me some money. If you haven't got paid, give me what you got on
you now. You hear me, Bitch? You pay me to be your man. I know where
you work. I know where you live. You have me some money by 2:00 a.m.
or leave the state of Massachusetts. You hear me, Bitch? The money at
2:00 a.m. or else!"
Needless to say, I was scared. I went
and told my girlfriend and roommate, Lori, about what happened. I
told her that she didn't have to walk home with me tonight if she
didn't want to because he might be there to hurt me. She said she
would never leave me alone to face someone like that.
He never
showed up after work. I sure was glad. As a
matter-of-fact, I do not ever remember seeing him around
after that.
I think my friend must have said something to him.
She had a way of being forceful with words towards these type of
men.
I watched my words AND my curiosity very carefully from
that moment on.
Being a stripper draws you to many men who are after
your body. Some people refer to them as "stage-door Johnnys".
Most of us strippers back then referred to them as "jack-offs".
We would get everything we could out of them without going to bed
with them. One thing we could always count on was a free meal out of
them anytime. They were always wanting to "take us out to
eat".
It got to the point where it was better to be
hungry or buy my own food. Most of the time when a "jack-off"
would take me out to eat, he would just stare at me. No matter what I
talked about, I could see him undressing me with his eyes.
It
was good to have these guys around to pick up the tab for a lot of
things such as food or clothes or whatever else I could think to use
them. But for the most part, the aggravation of their presence was
not worth it.
New
Autobiographical Book Shares Thoughts, Poems and More Over a 40 Year
Period
Burbank,
California – What goes through the mind of an old worn out
stripper?
Dixie
Publishing is proud to release the new autobiographical book 1001
RAMBLINGS OF AN OLD WORN OUT STRIPPER, written by Opal Dockery. This
groundbreaking book is is a shocking, eye-opening and entertaining
compilation of thoughts and memories from a former burlesque dancer
over a 40 year period.
Dockery's
new book is a unique, interesting, funny, serious, informative,
shocking, eye-opening and entertaining compilation of short stories,
poems, quotes and thoughts of her one of a kind life over a forty
four year period.
“The
reader gets a sneak peek at my being a stripper for 22 years, a
single Mother, an animal rights activist, my childhood and personal
thoughts”, Dockery stated in press materials. “It's a book you
will be glad you read and one you will never forget”.
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
Opal
Dockery is an award-winning actress, writer, poet and filmmaker. A
former burlesque dancer for over 20 years, she is the author of many
books, including the inspirational autobiography THOUGHTS OF A
STRIPPER: A Mother's Story. Ms. Dockery has a Bachelor's Degree in
Psychology and a Master's Degree in Criminal Justice. She has been a
vegetarian/vegan for over 40 years, and is an animal rights activist.
I must keep my Spirit strong which is equal to a strong
mind. (To discover how a diseased mind works is a dangerous thing to
do). A pimp will scare the girl into giving him money. He won't stop
with a little – he will demand more and more. The meaner he is to
her – the more money he will get from her. Only the weak mind gives
in to this sort of trickery and domination. It is better to be dead
than to have an idiot control one's mind. “I am a pimp. You pay me
money to be your man. You don't waste my time. I want the money now.
If you haven't got paid, give me what you have on you now – you
Bitch. Listen to me, Bitch. I'll be back at 2:00 a.m.; and you better
have me some money or you better leave the state. I know where you
work and where you live. The money at 2:00 or else. You hear me,
Bitch?”
A pimp tries to put words in your mouth. He says you
have said things that you really did not say. He turns and twists
everything around to suit his purpose. It takes a strong mind and a
lot of nerve to deal against a pimp without being overtaken by him.
Concerning customers – It doesn't matter what they
look like, what size, shape, or color – or what they smell like
just as long as they buy that drink.
1001 RAMBLINGS FROM AN OLD WORN-OUT STRIPPERBy Opal Dockery
Sometimes I watch a movie of someone about to be attacked. The person had plenty of time to do something to get away or to defend themselves, but does not move. I think, “Why doesn't she move? Why doesn't she do something? She could do it now! She could escape or do her attacker harm!” The fact is that in some real-life experiences a person is too scared to move. I know this because I went through it one time.
I was driving down Western Avenue toward Blue Island in Chicago. I was on my way to dance as a stripper at Flapper's Peep show on Blue Island. The traffic was back-up at a stop light. I did not realize I was parked in the traffic in a bad area of Chicago. But I was soon to find this out.
I had my window down with the radio on enjoying the nice afternoon. My purse was on the seat. All at once, a young, tall slender-looking black guy reached in the window and grabbed my purse. At that point, he could have done anything to me. I was so scared. All I did was sit there and scream. I could not move. He took off running toward a big apartment complex. Which I found out later was the projects of Chicago.
I saw a police car on the corner. I went and told the policeman what happened. He had a “ho-hum” sort of attitude. I told him I knew which building he ran into. He asked me if I could identify him. I said, “No, but I know what kind of shirt he has on”. He said, “Oh! Those guys change shirts all the time”. He would not help me at all.
By now, I was more mad then scared. I thought I would just try to find him myself. I drove up to the location where he had stolen my purse, turned right and drove around the apartment complex. Lo and behold! To my surprise there he was lounging on the grass! He looked up and saw me and started running. I was following him in my car down streets I did not know. He ducked into another building. I was too mad by now to realize that I was in his territory and did not use enough reasoning to think, “What am I going to do with him if I catch him?” I was not smart enough to know that if I had stopped and overcame him that his friends would overcome me. He would have been too strong for me to restrain anyway. I was too dumb to know that no matter what I could do, I would not get my purse back. This was his neighborhood. I did not realize what danger I was putting myself in. Lucky for me he never stopped. He probably would not have ran; but he probably was wondering if I had a gun on me. Since I was bold enough to chase him, he probably thought I had some kind of equalizer on me.
While I was chasing him in my car, my tire went flat. I thought, “I'm sure not going to change it here. I'm getting out of this neighborhood!” By now, I was beginning to really realize the danger I had put myself into. This danger was much worse than getting my purse stolen.
I rode the car on the flat and got out of his neighborhood and decided I would just ride it on the flat tire until I got to work. I was now back at the point where the crime had been committed once again waiting for the light to change – only this time full of frustration with a flat tire – unlike when I was sitting there relaxed enjoying the day with my radio on before he stole my purse. As I was sitting waiting for the light to change, the policeman who I had asked for help pulled beside me and decided to add a little salt to my wound as he said while observing my tire, “This just isn't your day – is it?”
No, it was not my day. But I learned a lot that day. The police who took my report when I got to work told me to always put my purse out-of-sight. I told them that maybe I should have had my window rolled up. They said he would have probably busted my window anyway to get my purse. And then I would have a window to replace besides all the other trouble. They tried to make me feel it was my fault. But I did learn many things that day the hard way – just as I have done so in the past during several incidents. I, also, learned that the policeman is not always your friend.
