This Old Bitch.....

This old bitch is ready for my son to start shooting film of me doing my dirty stand up comedy....I put these dirty mouthed comics to shame....

Birthright Of My Brain

My brain desires fulfillment.
My words desire notoriety.
It is a crime against humanity for me to conceal my words and deny my brain its birthright.

Sleeping in My Car....

When I was dancing as a stripper on the road, I would have to cut corners in many ways to make sure that my kid's boarding schools received their payments on time. This involved, quite regularly, doing without food or shelter. Luckily, I had my car to sleep in when I could not pay for a room.

I would go to a roadside park and sleep in my car. I did not realize how dangerous this was. Many times the weather would be cold, freezing, and snowy. Sometimes when I was in a big city like Chicago, I would go to a residential area and parallel park on the street. In the cold winters of Chicago, nobody noticed someone sleeping in their car, especially, with the windows fogged up from the cold. I would get in the back seat and cover-up with my rugs that I used in my stage shows. I am surprised I did not freeze to death.

One time in Scranton, Pennsylvania, I was sleeping in my car. I would take my rugs with me after work and drive to a roadside park to sleep. It was so cold. The husband of one of the strippers asked me one night if I was sleeping in my car. I asked him - why did he think that. He told me that he sees me carrying my rugs out every night; and I do not have a room at the motel. I admitted that I was because I needed the money for my kids. He and his wife offered to let me stay in their room for no money. I really did appreciate it.

I really did think they were nice to do this for me. This kind incident helped to introduce me to the well-known fact that you do not get something for nothing; and if someone does you a kind favor, usually, they have a plan in their head to use you someway. The plan is usually more devistating than the way you were before they did the favor.

After I had stayed there a couple of nights, the wife told me in the dressing room that they liked to spice up their sex life with a threesome every so often. She said their sex life gets dull sometimes; and when they have a threesome, it revives it. She asked me if I would do it. Of course, I said, "No".

I was not that cold. Needless to say, the cold car looked pretty good. I went back to it willingly despite their pleas for me to stay.

The Older Guy I Dated in Kansas City

I was twenty four years old and dating a guy who was in his early sixties. I was living in Kansas City, Missouri and stripping at the Pink Pussy Cat. He was some big businessman. I do not remember where. It was downtown somewhere. I cannot even remember his name. I thought he was sexy with his grey hair.

He told me he wanted to rent me an apartment; so I let him. But I did not get a fancy one. I got one that I thought I would be able to afford if and when we broke up.

He WAS a sugar-daddy; but I liked him. I could have got more out of him than the rent if I had been smart enough; but back then, I was not smart, at all.

I do not even remember how it ended. I do remember his coming in the Pink Pussy Cat and hollering while I was on the stage at me about how I liked somee younger man.

I always thought I would remember him - but I don't.

Grossing Out the Dancers at the Live Sex Show

One time at the New Era Burlesk Theater in Cleveland, Ohio when I was booked for two weeks as a stripper, I ran into a situation that I had never encountered before. The theater was allowing anything - anything goes! - Live sex with customers - Live sex with another girl - Live sex with an animal. Let your imagination run wild! It was becoming common for the customers to line-up and tip the dancer a dollar; so they could put their heads between her legs. In my opinion, the girls were no longer strippers or entertainers. They were cheap whores - selling themselves for a dollar tip.

Well, I did not go for this at all because I figured that that is where entertainment crossed over to prostitution. I have nothing against prostitution; but do one or the other. Don't say you are a stripper and entertainer; and use it in your show to be a prostitute.

But I needed the money; and it was a two week gig. Also, to make matters worse, I was the "star" of the show. This meant that if I did not think of something pretty wild, I would be booed off the stage because the "star" of the show had to follow everyone else - be the last one to perform - she was supposed to be the best. Also, even though it was beginning to be a rough place to work, I did want to work there again for the money because there were only a certain amount of burlesk theaters to work. I did not want the bosses to fire me or to put up with me becaause I was booked and never have me back again.

Well, believe it or not, because of my wild imagination, I DID come up with a plan; and the guys loved it! I used three vibrators. I put one in each hole - I don't think I have to explain any further - I eventually had all of them in each hole, all at once. Then I would take them out of the holes between my legs and the other hole and have the customers suck on the vibrators. This way I had no personal contct with the customers. They did not touch me; and I did not touch them. They did not tip me; but that was fine with me. I was making good money from the theater.

Well, the customers were satisfied; so was the management, and so was I. But the girls on the show - the ones who were having the live sex with each other, the customers, and the animals - Even though I did not care what THEY thought, their reaction was pretty funny! Guess what they had the nerve to tell me! YOU'RE GROSS!!!


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A Call From John Ory Being Broke

One time when I was stripping at the State Burlesk Theater in Canton, Ohio my boss, Jim Manos told me that he ad received a letter or a call (I don't remember which)from John Ory saying he was broke and could Jim send him some money. I felt really bad about his being broke. He is the one who, basically, started me stripping on the road with the Al Baker Burlesk Theater Circuit. If it had not ben for him, I might never have pursued stripping for approximately twenty years.

Jim said he was going to send him some money. I think he said, $100.00 or so. I gave Jim $50.00 to send to him. Even though I was taking care of my two children and myself, I felt an obligation. This was a lot of money for me back then. But I did not miss it much; and I still don't.

Keeping the Burlesque Manager 'Happy' in Pittsburgh

I had worked in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania at the Liberty Burlesk Theater dancing as a stripper quite a few times. I had decided to stay in Canton, Ohio for awhile; so I tried to book myself in some of the surrounding burlesk theaters - one of them was Pittsburgh.

I told the manager that I would like to work there from time to time. He said there was no problem - I could. He then said that there was only one stipulation. All the girls that worked for him regularly "kept him happy" when he needed it I immediately told him that I would not - that "keeping him happy" when he needd it was not part of my show. He said, "Fine! Go back to Canton and wash dishes!" I said, "O.K.!"

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